Up, Up, and Away

Instant messengers (IM) are the new kids on the block when it comes to new forms of communication. When I started teaching in 1998, it was still relatively uncommon, but even then, high school students and younger were adopting this new form of technology. It had one benefit over the phone. It was basically free. Well, at least, once you paid for Internet access, it was unlimited yap, yap, yap.

Instant messenging has created new protocols when it comes to interaction. On a phone, any pause lasting longer than ten seconds is uncomfortable, and so people are compelled to talk or hang up. Why? Money. You may not think about it much, but when every minute of a phone calls costs something, you say something. Nothing costs. Of course, no one thinks about that anymore. They just feel it's awkward.

There's a second reason you talk. Phones are a pain to hold. Were it some device that's comfortable and sits in your ear and were the cost free, you might decide long pauses aren't a problem, especially if it doesn't interfere with what you're doing. However, phones do interfere.

Those are the two reasons you find people talking all the time on the phone, or hanging up if there's nothing to say.

On the other hand, instant messenging requires a computer. If you're on a computer, chances are you're not using it solely to chat. If anything, you're playing a game, watching a video, listening to music, or most likely, surfing the web. Thus, if someone sends a message, you're inclination, unlike a phone call, can simply be to ignore that person.

Newbies to messenging (mostly older folks) complain that the person being messaged (is that even a verb?) often won't respond instantly to messenging. How dare they! They don't call it instant for nothing. (These folks complain that recipients of email should respond right away, just because they can). Newbies (or noobs) expect the interaction to be much like the phone. In fact, these folks are most likely sitting there waiting for a response, with nothing else to do, eagerly awaiting your reply.

Once you get experience chatting, delays are permissible. In fact, some people just leave. A few are polite enough to tell you, hey, I'm outta here. Talk to you some other time, even if that's just a polite way of saying "I don't want to talk to you in particular, but I don't want to say that since it sounds rude". Since IM windows are likely to stay open for long periods of time, those who leave often put up an away message, indicating what they're up to.

And that finally brings me to the point of this entry. Away messages indicating that you're showering.

It's become common for Generation IM to put their lives on public display. I don't mean they have webcams trained at them 24-7. However, kids these days seem quite willing to tell you what's up with them at all times, usually in the form of away messages. It lets you keep up without actually talking.

My brother, who's more old-school, finds this terribly invasive. Why should anyone know what he's up to? He doesn't want anyone to know if he's at home, at work, watching a movie, anything. It's stalker avoidance syndrome. Yet, it's not that uncommon, if you value some privacy. Yet, many kids don't.

Thus, you know, in particular, that they've decided that they are taking a shower. Now, I suppose this could be completely innocent. After seeing their friends put up similar away messages, it may just seem natural. But my thinking is that it's an attempt to be provocative.

The implicit message is, I want you to know I'm naked, and getting myself squeaky clean. Wink, wink. Oh, I know, I know, you're going to say, it's nothing of the sort. If I'm away, showering, I'll be back in a moment. But how come you never see "pissing", "crapping", "brushing my teeth"? I mean, I'm sure a few people who write that, but by and large, that's too embarassing, yet, in the realm of TMI, you're told about the shower.

Implicit in all of this, I suppose, is that they bathe. Thus, they aren't a complete slob. I won't get into the topic of how people obsess about cleanliness (of course, they would say it's not an obsession, that it's natural to bathe frequently, but that's a topic for another entry).

Now, what takes guts is the "away" message that says you're snogging someone. I know a friend who used to do this. His codeword was "romp". Now, I have to believe that his hidden message was "Hey, I may be diminuitive [he wasn't a tall guy], but I'm getting a lot more than you".