Not Whether You Win or Lose

In the last five years, there's been a huge boom in sports radio. Once upon a time, ESPN showed sports, and people watched sports, and when a sports show was on, they'd talk about the game, and their opinion of the game, and maybe there was an article about the game. Then, shows like Larry King became popular.

Throughout the nineties, talk TV and talk radio was all the rage. It was only a matter of time before sports would join along. As if fans didn't get enough sports by watching games on evenings and weekends, now they could hear sports all day long, and all night long, listening to shows hosted by the likes of Jim Rome, Dan Patrick, Mike and Mike, and now even more obscure sports commentators who open up with segments like "Should Rafy Palmeiro get inducted into the Hall of Fame? He has Hall of Fame numbers, but has never been MVP, and rarely gets picked to All-Star Games. What's your opinion? Call in!"

Fair disclosure. I listen to sports radio. I understand how inane it is. When it's bad, it's painful. It was this bad today. Palmeiro plays for the Baltimore Orioles and today he was accused of failing a test for steroids. Steroids, you see, helps the body recover more quickly from workouts, therefore making it easier to put on muscle, therefore making it easier to hit home runs, provided you already have decent hand-eye coordination.

Baseball has always had problems with steroids, and for many years, refused to adequately police itself. Now, maybe, as particularly casual fans, we shouldn't care. Let the baseball players be as strong as they want to be. Yet, somehow there is a myth of purity, for baseball, more than any other American sport, treasures its distinguished history. How can one compare the numbers of Sammy Sosa to Hank Aaron if Sosa might be on the juice?

But really, for the casual or uninterested fan, how much can we stand listening to pundits talk about Palmeiro? Apparently, for hours. Every sports talk show is talking about it, and everyone has to weigh in on their opinions, and everyone seems to fall to the same consensus. If Palmeiro accidentally took steroids, he must be a total idiot, and if he's not, then tell us what mistakes were made, so you can clear your name. And it goes on, and on, and on. I mean, there are plenty of other sports to talk about, but everyone has to talk about this today.

This is why I like hearing Tony Kornheiser. He comes back from two weeks of vacation. Lance Armstrong has just won an unprecendented seventh Tour de France. What does he talk about? Golfing with Hootie and the Blowfish. Maggie, his dog, eating some cash. It's sometimes refreshing, even with the biggest topics in sports, that Tony just talks about himself, because heaven knows there are plenty of people who will talk about the latest sports controversy of the day, and boy will they sound indignant, and generally likes assholes.

I'd say this is why I love sports radio, but no, I can't stoop that low. Only one thing more painful, and that's listening to pundits talk about politics. I can stand brainless talk about sports, since sports, in the end, is a game, but when serious people take partisan stances, and treat politics like sports, it's a sad commentary on us, as citizens.

Thank goodness there's Tony, who sometimes rants just a little too much, but to whom there's life beyond sports. Sometimes I wonder, for shows like (the now defunct) Crossfire, if there's more to the world than blatantly partisan politics. Jon Stewart was right. They could do so much more to elevate the discourse of politics, and yet, it's reduced to petty bickering with people in bowties. Intelligent people need not apply. Whiners and bickerers only.