Boil, Boil, Toil and Trouble

What is it about hot tubs and alcholism that leads to the disposal of clothing? I was at a party last night, and apparently, what better way to host a party than to have a hot tub. To be fair, this wasn't the focal point of the party.

The scenery is this. Six to eight people in a tub. 4-6 guys. 2 women. Guess who's clothed? Of the two women, one is clothed, the other wearing nothing. Most of the remainder of the men have done without clothing. Now, unlike women who almost have to be submerged to remain out of sight, a male practically has to be out of the hot tub itself to do the macho preening. Except nerd-style. We're not talking Abercrombie and Fitch, or even Target or Williams and Sonoma.

The complaint, from the guys, is that not enough women wanted to do without their clothing, whereas enough guys were willing to drop trou. What is it about the male psyche that says it's OK to strip, but it's not the same for women?

I suspect part of it, ironically, is that that women aren't as visually aroused by the male reproductive organs as men are aroused by, well, boobies. And furthermore, women are always concerned about being appropriate, and having to be the one that says no, while nerdy males are simply looking to meet with women of any sort, hoping that, well, if the brains aren't doing the trick, then maybe pasty white thin bodies or doughy-round bods will be the magic visual elixir that leads to snogging, or at least, minimal interest.

It's perhaps not surprising that guys whose waists are significantly larger than their chests are reluctant to reveal their manhood on the unsuspecting. But for those who make it to the tub, there's this interesting dilemma. You're more likely to see other guys in the tub than other girls. The only saving grace is the location of the male equipment is beneath sea level, and with so much turbulence, well, who would even know? The only time it makes a difference is entering and exiting the tub, and even then, modesty often rules the day.

Thus, it's the thought of nudity that counts. I mean, sure, opportunities may exist for women to see the guy's you-know but really, a hot tub doesn't encourage male display without being obvious about it, whereas women have to be deliberately prudish to hide their bosoms. Like a Scottish kilt, it's the thought of what's underneath that titillates, even if it's not in clear view. It's being bold without being bold.

In principle, parties are about meeting new people, except, by and large, people hate meeting people. You don't know what interests you'll have in common, if any. There's the insecurity of being judged as inadequate. Maybe you like video games, and she likes skiing in the Alps. Maybe you like to cook, and she likes to fly planes.

When you're presented with dozens of people who you've never met, the criteria for talking to any one of them may boil down to physical attractiveness. Do you like the way they look? Maybe you overhear a conversation and discover something in common? Oh, do you ski, where's a good place to ski around here? I've only skiied in the Alps. Yeah, there's some good places up in Vermont, but it's so far away. And so forth.

But when the attractive ones are too hard to talk to, or unavailable (already with someone, or simply, no attractive people there to begin with), it's just easier to talk to people you know already, because even if you don't know them real well, it's at least a familiar face, there's some place to start a conversation. I ended up talking to a Russian guy (actually from the Ukraine), who I've talked to before since he's the (now-former) roommate of someone I know. That turned out to be fine with me.

This leads to something amusing. Even though the purpose of such a party is to meet people you might be interested in, thus, for most, girls to meet guys and guys to meet girls, in reality, it's far easier for guys to talk to guys, since, at least at a party like this, the number of men exceed the number of women. And men often do have more in common with men than they do with women. Now I understand this may not be a representative rowdy party. Perhaps there are undergrad parties where snogging is the norm, or even grad parties.

In the computer world, we talk about requirements, architecture, and implementation. There is a desire to meet people, possibly to see if it leads to something more. Then, there's the act of trying to do this, which means overcoming fear, raising the interest level in others for ourselves. Humans have often claimed their superiority to others in the animal kingdom, and yet this most primitive of rituals occupies our thoughts. Our intelligence seems unable and even unwilling to do anything about these needs.

So the secret to a good, if not great party, is to invite lots and lots of people, add alcohol and a hottub, and let the uninhibited nature take over. Our intelligence gives way to the biological need to nearly procreate. And when that fails, there's always chips and dip, and discussing fantasy football, or the disadvantages of a representative democracy.