Next To Godliness

I've had friends who were Muslims, some of the pray five times a day variety, and some who hardly prayed. Among the many duties and restrictions Muslims must follow is the prohibition of alcohol and pork. Not eating pork is something Muslims share with Jews, but I think Muslims think about it differently.

In particular, Muslims are told that pigs are filthy, filthy animals, that wade in their own feces (this reminds me of a movie I just watched, but I digress) and that eating pigs is like eating s**t. Like many dietary restrictions, I suspect this had some element of truth, that people did get sick from eating pork. Even now, people worry about trichinosis, which is basically a larvae of a worm that can infect uncooked meats, and make people sick.

My friend, who rarely prayed or fasted, held steadfast to two Muslim restrictions. No alcohol (because he thought he would lose control, possibly acting unwisely---some truth in that, I suppose). No pork (because, they were filthy, filthy animals).

If you think that's silly, I ask you this. Would you eat cockroaches? Or any insects? Even if I told you that cockroaches are clean and have no diseases, you wouldn't be able to get out of your mind that they are disgusting, filthy creatures, no matter what. It's so instinctive (and it isn't exactly, because your parents and friends conditioned you to react this way), that no amount of reasoning will change you mind. And there's no religious restrictions from eating cockroaches!

Ingrained into many of our heads is the notion of clean v. dirty. Many of us have an irrational fear of dirt. Anything bad that happens when you're unclean is based on something being dirty. You didn't wash your hands enough. You didn't bathe frequently, and so forth.

For example, let's take washing hands. Most people are told to wash their hands after they use the rest rooms. But does it make sense? A guy goes to the urinal, and shortly thereafter, he washes his hands. Did the guy wizz on his hands? Most likely, he didn't. Even if he did, urine is supposedly quite sanitary, although the odor is not so pleasant, yet, you wouldn't notice it unless you smelled it up close. How often do you smell your hands?

Yet, people are revulsed if hands aren't washed, and unnaturally so. They're told they are going to be sick, and cause others to get sick.

To that extent, I might agree. I wash my hands, but really, I think of it as a convenient excuse to clean hands for germs, and not due to handling my equipment, but due to brushing a hand across a table that someone might have sneezed on. Colds tend to be caught when you touch something, then rub your eyes or rub your nose, and the germs get into your system.

Cleaning hands is at least one effort made to cut down on the chances of getting sick. Even so, the cleanest of person still gets sick.

If you think we're paranoid about cleanliness, I'm told the Japanese are even more so. Some are paranoid about picking up germs from someone else holding a pen. This is not completely irrational, especially if that person is sick, but do you think about borrowing a pen. Asians sometimes were surgical masks to avoid making their friends sick. Would you do that? I mean, why are you washing your hands? Is it not for the benefit of others?

Yet, many would never don a surgical mask because they feel silly (sort of like the refusal of some men to wear condoms).

Let's face it. Our obsession with cleanliness is only partly based on reality. If someone gets sick and is unclean, we blame it on their lack of cleanliness. And yet such a person may get less sick than anyone.

Cleanliness is not even a personal issue, it's a social issue. People often whisper when others are unclean, or merely a slob. Men and women spend a great deal of their time introducing order to their homes to make it the model of decorum. Others, like male (and some female) college students, through stuff willy-nilly, creating clutter and disorder, and they're made fun of this.

Don't believe your desire to be clean is made from rational reasons, because it's not. If you don't believe me, ask yourself why you don't wear gloves and a surgical mask, and do your best Michael Jackson, when you get sick (and he uses an umbrella to shield himself from nasty UV light too!).

Nikola Tesla, whose name is not nearly as famous as Thomas Edison, but was famous for advocating alternating current to the house (also inventor of the Tesla coil, often seen in Frankenstein movies---you know the one with two antennaes and a spark across the two), was a neat freak. He was obsessed about germs. And, do I even have to say it? Howard Hughes. Rent The Aviator. You'll see.

Now excuse me while I go wash my hands. This keyboard is disgusting!