Horn of Plenty

It seems nearly every culture has a tradition of food, and despite the fact that most Americans, at the very least, has plenty to eat, a family is judged by how much they can stuff their guests. I remember, years ago, when I would eat at some (Indian) friend's place, and they would always say "Eat up, eat up!", an exclamation, no doubt, heard by other cultures. The grand irony was that there wasn't a great deal of food, so you had to be a bit frugal, otherwise the food would be gone.

In cultures that egg on people to eat food, which is basically every culture, the notion that you'd get fat from eating too much is not a concern. Indeed, it suggests that pigging out is good, and as a good host, you should encourage such behavior. To be fair, India, for example, seems to lack the super-obese with any number, so feeding people more food doesn't seem to cause adversity.

I noticed, last night, when I was invited to an Indian couples house that we were encouraged to eat the food. Indeed, even as we finished, they insisted on serving more food, even to the point of scooping food even as we politely declined.

There's etiquette on both sides. When people serve food, the guests have to proclaim how tasty the food is (fortunately, the food was tasty) and they have to complete their plate. In such cultures, presumably to say you were on a diet and couldn't eat that much would be considered an insult. On the other hand, pigging yourself out would, I imagine, be considered insulting as a guest.

I'm reminded of a scene in The Nutty Professor where the Klumpps (or whatever) have a family dinner, and everyone takes huge, huge portions. I would assume, in most culture, taking huge portions might be considered a bit scary. The assumption is the guests will be modest, because they don't want to be seen as too needy, and the hosts have to insist on the guests to overcome this false modesty.

I recall a (Chinese) friend who decided to take Chinese classes to get easy A's. In this class, the teacher explained that Chinese etiquette requires a host to offer a gift or food several times, and the guest to politely refuse three times before finally accepting. Believe me, this tradition is still quite true. Both sides must show they are put off, one side insisting on the gift, and the other side being distressed at having to accept before finally taking it, because they don't with to offend the host, even if they wanted it in the first place.

My friend thought this was folly. If you want it, say yes. None of this beating around the bush until you finally get what you want. I must admit I believe this too. When other people insist on paying (even if it should be my treat), I end up letting them pay.

Occasionally, I'm surprised, pleasantly I'll tell you, when I go to a restaurant that doesn't try to give you absurd amounts of food. I just went to Domku, and they give you food, and it's not too tiny, but it's certainly not so filling that you can't even move.

I doubt society will change to this notion of just serving enough. Traditions tell people how they ought to behave, but sometimes being generous isn't the best thing after all.