I-Owe-Wa

Iowa isn't what you'd call a major state. Biggest city? Des Moines? Can you even name another city in Iowa? Images of cornfields abound. Even so, Iowans are a proud folk and they know when Iowans have done well.

On Sunday, Zach Johnson did something few have done. He beat Tiger Woods. Which is to say, his score, at the end of the day, was the best score of the day, and Tiger Woods's score was not.

Zach Johnson, in post-tournament interviews, said he was from Cedar Rapids (there you go, another city in Iowa), an Iowan proud to call Iowa his home. Not all Iowans have been so proud. Ashton Kutcher. He's Iowan. He's even brought Demi Moore to Iowa.

Brandon Routh, the guy who played Superman and Clark Kent in Superman Returns. Iowan. Bryan Singer, the director, was there for the Iowa debut at Routh's hometown. He probably had little reason to go there otherwise. They've convinced Lance Armstrong to bicycle in Iowa. Captain James T. Kirk says he's from Iowa, and a small town in Iowa makes claims to be his future birthplace.

Did you know Elijah Wood, of Lord of the Rings fame, was born in Cedar Rapids? Zach Johnson only grew up there. He was born in Iowa City (yet another city in Iowa!). Of couse, Elijah's been acting since he was a kid, so much like the Beverly Hillbillies, he moved away from there and headed to Beverly. Hills, that is. Or somewhere in the vicinity of Hollywood.

Steve Alford? Well, he coached at Iowa, but decided to leave them for New Mexico, where they understand basketball better. Or something like that.

Iowa can lay a claim against rival Ohio. Spelled with just as many letters and vowels, but has unique vowels. Those Ohioans use two "o"'s, don't you know?

So Zach Johnson, once proudly golfing in the Hooters tour wins the tournament that Hootie runs, that is Hootie Johnson. Remember that? Martha Burk protested that the membership at Augusta was exclusively male. Tiger Woods, wanting to keep his sponsors happy, kept mum on the issue. It was Martha vs. Hootie. Hootie must have won, because there was nary a peep from Martha Burk.

Hootie's gone (replaced by Billy Payne). So's Martha.

We have Zach Johnson left.

And he's proud to tell you he's from Iowa.