Why Homework Divides Us

One topic that seems to divide parents, perhaps even more so than corporal punishment (i.e., spanking), is the necessity of homework. I can imagine how this happens. Little Jane and little Johnny come home, and they complain that they hate homework. The parents see how miserable they are, and so who's to blame? The school or their kids? More than ever, parents side with their kids, blaming schools for torturing their kids.

So there's been a move to eliminate homework, that what kids need more of is play and to learn naturally, because of course, learning naturally is what kids do best. Were it not for the mind-numbing work school provides that beats the joy of learning from our kids, we'd have a bunch of little Einsteins running around.

Indeed, this view is perhaps very stereotypically American. I suspect Asian parents would laugh at this, claiming that American parents are weak, letting their kids bully them into doing something that they don't want. Happiness, after all, is the main goal, the main hope that everyone wants for their children. Except this thought, as universal as it is in the US, is not so universal in the world. Asian parents often prize their kid's ability to adapt to society as a bigger goal than hedonistic happiness.

I know I sound biased, ready to dismiss this idea out of hand. But not true. I'm actually willing to give the idea a try (if I had children).

But here's another point that's silly. Most of these parents when confronted with the idea that their kids won't learn and will contribute to the stereotypically stupid Americans claim that all we need to do, much like balancing the budget by removing "pork", is to give meaningful homework.

And this is what I quibble with. What if your kid simply doesn't want to think very much. Are your kids really being pelted by things that are rote and dumb them down? Maybe you should take the next step. Maybe your kid isn't so keen on learning new things, no matter how attractive that idea may seem. After all, the main premise of learning is that you have to master something that is initially very confusing.

Yet, parents seem to lack any better ideas on how to make HW more interesting to their kids. They place the blame on schools, and then they decide let's just remove HW altogether. Ultimately, I feel, they let their emotions rule. They want to be good parents. They see their kids complaining. They side with their kids.

Fine, then home school your kids. Put your money where your mouth is. I understand that we need more creative educators, but frankly we don't pay educators enough to do that. Whereas parents have a great parent kid ratio, schools lack this ratio, and thus kids are at a disadvantage if they don't get support.

You know what advice they tell people to become better writers? Write! Of course, they mean write intelligently. Get good feedback. Begin to learn what works and what doesn't work.

You want to know what it takes to be a good programmer? Program! Make errors. Learn to overcome errors. Cut and paste errors. Stupid typos. Missed logic. Sometimes we learn by failure until our brain finally figures this out or figures that out. Some figure it out quicker than others, but it comes with time and yes desire to focus on what it takes to get better.

The funny thing is that we don't have this attitude with sports, mostly because people can opt out of sports. Thus, Pistol Pete Maravich, whose dad, Press, made him practice hours a day, was able to make shots no one else could. But had his classmates been "forced" to do this, they may have cried what torture they were going through, how it was unnecessary to practice, how it is draining their love of sports.

In this scenario, we might rightly conclude that the kid simply doesn't like sports. But we don't seem prepared to make the same conclusion of our kids when we say maybe the kids don't like to learn. They want to play all the time, be happy all the time, be absolved of all responsibility.

But this isn't the conclusion parents want to hear. They want to believe in a utopia where their kids will learn if the environment is just right. And I don't doubt, with a lot of hard work, one can make such an environment, but don't think that the solution to the problem is simply stop giving homework.

You know, kids also complain they are beaten up in classes, that other kids make fun of them. Why is nothing ever mentioned of this? That kids are cruel to other kids. That they make fun of others to make themselves feel better about themselves. And yet, ask some of the brightest kids what it was like growing up, and many will tell you these stories of other kids who were cruel. Does this mean being the victim has benefits after all? Why don't teachers monitor this?

Oh but that's no fun to discuss.