Do The Needful

The British have long had a relationship with India. Initially, it was trade, then a few outposts. By the mid 1800s, the British controlled most of India and would give that up only a century later. In the meanwhile, many Indians learned English of a British variety, but combined with translations from their mother tongue into English. This creates English that is, to American ears, rather bizarre.

The interaction people are likely to have with Indians are with offshoring teams. Perhaps the caste system syncs well with the British class system, or perhaps Indians simply imitate the British English, but it leads to a kind of formalism that is odd.

Let me start off with the phrase that set me off today: please do the needful.

Now, this sounds like, oh I don't know, having sex? Wanking off? (To use a Britishism).

Let met actually put it in context. The better translation, albeit very informal is, "Can you take care of this?". Thus, "The server is down. Please do the needful." is really "The server is down. Can you take care of this?".

Then, there is the phrase "the same" as in "Please find affixed a document. Please comment on the same". The same referring to some previously mentioned item. Now, apparently, the British used to use this phrase "the same" in this context. However, it has fallen out of favor and sounds old-fashioned to a Brit. Nevertheless, it continues to survive to this day in Indian English.

When an Indian is puzzled, he (or she) is likely to say "I have a doubt", but the use of doubt, in this case, means something that is not understood, or is confusing, rather than to question the veracity of something. Thus, you might be reading some software requirements that don't make sense, so you say "I have a doubt" or "Can you clarify my doubt?".

Email is more informal than regular mail, so most people have dispensed with formalities. However, Indians follow a standard based on written mail, and often close their email with "Thanks and Regards" where typical email simply ends with the person's name, if even that.

I suppose the funny thing is that making fun of this would only amuse me. It's the way typical Indians write (from India). Many Indians who come to the US eventually learn to be far more informal, and remove such phrasing from their language.

I am told even a simple question like "How are you?" is typically greeted by "Fine. How are you?". The answer "I'm good" is seen as typically American, and something the average Indian doesn't say.

Now, I should be fair. Americans have their own issues with the English language. The one that I've blogged about is excessive use of superlatives. Thus, when someone does something good (or even satisfactorily), you say "That was awesome!", or even more "This is best thing ever!". Ever is often attached to emphasize just how awesomely great something is. Except it loses its punch because every new shiny thing has this superlative attached.

I have a friend who likes to use "worst pain ever" a little too frequently.

Some of Indian English is pretty much British English, thus, bonnet for hood, trunk for boot, flat for apartment, trousers for pants, indicators for turn signals, and so forth.

I just ordered a book on differences between British and American English (two, in fact). I'd love to see the Indian English version. Alas, Wikipedia will have to do for now.

Oh I forget that the verb "to do" has a slang meaning of "to have sex with", thus to "do the needful" almost sounds like you should "do the needy".

I'm sure there must be some American phrases that drive others crazy. I can already think of adding "ism" and "ize" and "ify", thus verbifying a word is an Americanism to Americanize stuff.

Next time you've forgotten to do something you promised, please read the same, and do the needful.