Turkey Dilemma

Although this is the I-dont-know-how-many Thanksgiving I've spent away from family, I still don't know much about how to cook a turkey. My dad does a reasonably good job, so I should just follow that (having said that, Alton Brown has a version that takes, other than brining, about 3 hours).

First lesson. Don't buy a turkey on the day before. There just aren't that many choices. I went to two grocery stores that had turkeys between about 14 pounds and 15 pounds. 13 pounds? No. 15 pounds? No. Now how could that possibly be? My answer is that it's a good middling number, and many stores have resorted to having too few turkeys rather than too many and getting 14 pound turkeys when their supply runs out.

I had to go to a smallish grocery store to find turkeys that had different sizes. In this case, other than the ubiquitous 14 pounder, there was the 18-20 pounds. I did spot a few 11 pounders. That was OK, though overpriced.

Second, these turkey are popsicles. They are frozen blocks of ice. So my strategy of brining probably was far less successful than it could have been. First, being frozen, I have no idea how much brine it absorbed. Second, being frozen, all the turkey parts, wrapped in plastic, were fused inside the body cavity of the turkey.

If I got them early, then I might have let it thaw for a day, before even brining.

Third, brining is a total pain. First, to get a container that's even big enough is daunting. I bought a huge stockpot (at least, I thought it was huge). Apparently, not huge enough. You're better off buying a cheap plastic bucket (Alton Brown recommends 5 galons). I could barely fit my tiny turkey (not so tiny, as it turns out) in this stockpot, and could not submerge it at all.

Finally, slow cooking is not the ideal way to bake a turkey. I cooked the turkey over 9 hours at pretty low temperature (250 F). It causes the turkey's skin to be really dry, although the turkey itself was only modestly dry. I might aim for Alton Brown's solution which is at the other extreme. Heat at 500 F(!) for half an hour, then at normal cooking temps for 2 to 2.5 hours.

I think I need a real meat thermometer too, so I don't let it cook and cook. That would probably help as well.

All I can say is that making turkey ain't easy.

Oh yeah, and there's a lot of food to eat too.