Eat First

Lately, I haven't felt much like cooking. When I get back at 8 most evenings, I'd just rather eat out than cook for an hour or so. I'm plenty used to eating out by myself. Even on weekends, I find myself eating out rather than cooking for myself.

Yesterday, around 11 AM, I decided to head to Silver Spring to eat. A few years ago, I hardly ever went to Silver Spring, but in the last few years, they've spruced up the place. There's the AFI theater, which shows a combination of artsy flicks, retrospectives, the occasional foreign flick. There's a Borders, two ice cream places, and plenty of restaurants.

At first, I was going to a Thai restaurant, but then I saw Eggspectation. I've only eaten there maybe once or twice, once near my birthday. I said, I'm going to try it again. Usually I don't go because it's so crowded at lunch. But it was raining yesterday, and I entered the place. There was a 10-15 minute wait, unless I sat at the counters or the "hightops" which are tables for two people, elevated up on high chairs.

Now, Eggspecation has enough business that there are at least ten people on the waitstaff. I don't understand how waiters are trained. I understand it's a thankless job, and that, human nature is to remember the one horrible customer to the dozens of good customers. But how can half a dozen wait staff go by and not one ask how you're doing? I know there are wait staff that are assigned to certain tables, but honestly, are they trying to serve customers or themselves.

I had to ask someone to come to my table. Then, it was fine. They gave me coffee and a menu. However, I wasn't ready to order after the one minute the woman gave me. Then, she basically disappeared. I mean, she was around, passing me, one, two, three times, Five minutes passed. Then, ten minutes. Despite helping other people around, she didn't ask again. So I went to the guy behind the counter, wanted to pay for my coffee and leave. He said don't worry about it, and I left.

OK, maybe she was horrible. She didn't seem at all pleased that day. But even so, no one else around did anything to see how I was doing. This, to me, says something awful about the restaurant itself. That they are more concenrned with waiters preserving their territory than seeing how I'm doing.

Frankly, I'm also surprised that restaurants don't apply a rule that I've thought should be around. Always, always, always put a person eating by himself or herself first. If there's a table for six who showed up five minutes before the one person sitting by himself, you serve the person sitting by himself. Always. A person by themselves wants to eat and get out of there. They have no one to talk to. A group of two can deal with delays because they can talk to each other ten or fifteen minutes before getting irritated. It seems like a simple idea, and yet way too many restaurants still believe in first-come, first-serve. Stupid, really.

The solution, which is really simple, is to have a button at the table. Once the button is pressed, the waitstaff is timed. If it starts to go three, four minutes without a response, then some wandering waiter is sent to respond. If you find the waitstaff consistently going beyond a few minutes, then they restaurant is not doing their job. They need to hire more people.

Amazingly, this idea is not used. An ideal waitstaff would have someone serving your table and your table only. You raise a hand, and they are there in a second. Or even better, you have two or three people serving your own table. This happens at extremely expensive restaurants, where you pay three figures for a meal. But short of that, they should use a button to get the waitstaff. It won't happen because restaurants don't want to hire any more people. They'd rather work their waitstaff too hard.

Now I understand that wait staff are just above slave labor. Anytime you pay someone to serve you barely minimum wage, that amounts to slavery. Even so, I am used to the way restaurants do business, and that means prompt service. I find, as I get older, that I don't tolerate slow service as much.

I went upstairs, headed to a Vietnamese place, got seated right away, got in an order right away, had my food right away. I spent six bucks rather than ten plus bucks I would have spent at this restaurant. Needless to say, until I forget, I won't be heading to Eggspectation again any time soon. I know there are good people trying to do a good job, but really, they need to realize when someone is sitting there and do something about it. The problem is they have no idea how long they've been sitting. I understand that I have no idea how long they've been standing, but it's not my job to make their work conditions better.

The funny thing is that if you go to any restaurant that is African or Carribean or basically black that's not US, I simply expect the service to be deadly slow. Never go to one of these restaurants if you are in a rush. If I go, I expect slow service. Not so much slow service, but that it takes a long time to get the food out. I still want someone to see me right away, even if it takes forever for the food to get cooked.

The worst restaurant in this respect was the original Food Factory. You can order a dish where they just scoop it in a plate and be served immediately, or order a kebab and wait at least ten minutes. The problem is that they don't seem to realize any non-kebab dish takes a minute. It's quick. And yet, they pile it behind the kebab dishes. Worse still, they misplace orders. They wouldn't remember whether they had served a dish or not, so you could easily get caught waiting while others who ordered behind you got their orders. It's bad when they can't remember to make your dish.

Today, I read a review about a place called Ceviche, which serves Latin American cuisine. Normally, I'm not a huge fan of Latin cuisine. I'll see a Thai place and think "I'll give that a try", but not say the same about a Latin American restaurant.

Guess where this restaurant is. You know that Vietnamese place I ate lunch yesterday. It's up on the second floor where the other restaurant is located. Next door to it is a Thai restaurant. And next to it? Ceviche! I could have eaten there and tried something different. It looks good and sufficiently exotic. Next time, then.